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Written by: Raymond Fohjem

True love versus infatuation

True love versus infatuation

If there is one bit of unchallenged information I have about true love and infatuation, is that any relationship based on selfishness is bound to be infatuation. It's sometimes difficult to distinguish between true love and infatuation since people now fall in love easily and almost everyone claims to be the rightful match.

Can he tell me about himself?

A person can't just tell you "this is what i am. Now you know everything about me" No, it takes time and patience to know someone you’re truly in love with. True love never hurts by time. The best way to test your relationship or feelings for someone is to let some time to pass. True love doesn’t happen overnight nor is the person who would make a good marriage mate necessarily be someone you find overwhelmingly attractive.

In my book How to make someone fall in love with you, I explained how true love starts from grass making its way to grace through intimacy, care, love and concern for the other partner.

So, how can you know if it’s true love? This is what I will be talking today in this article, how to distinguish between real love and infatuation.

How to identify Infatuation

If you turn around, you will find many youths who are married under the illusion of being in true love later to discover that they were infatuated. Infatuation is another kind of love but in this case a counterfeit one. It is a premature way of expressing love. Some psychologists even defined it as the opposite nature of love.

You can know infatuation people just by their flattery words. Infatuation person always have the tendency to say "I really feel important when am around him, I can't do without you, I can't believe how fantastic this is, he/she really makes me feel good." Notice how many times his/her "I" or "me" is used? Infatuation is blind and likes staying that way. It doesn’t like facing reality else, it will vanish. But above all, what is true love or real love?

True love versus infatuation

If you’re doubting someone’s love for you, then most probably you are confusing between this aspect of love and infatuation. In order to make the right judgment, we have to look at it from all angles. The first way we’re going to approach this issue is by examining his/her behavior in the form of questions:

Is your partner unselfishly caring about the interest of others or not? The effect on you is that it makes you a better person or not? Romance starts slowly taking months/years or not? You’re attracted to the person's total personality or not? He/she views you realistically or not? You both equally give and share or not?

If you’re finished answering the above, ask yourself the following: Is he/she eager for the success of your plans or not? Does he/she show concern for your viewpoints or not? Has he/she pressured you to do something meaningful or not? Does this person turn to build you up in front of others in your absence or not?

Each of us have our different answers to these questions depending on the different partners we have. In your situation, you’re the only one who can tell about your partner and yourself. But in general, I want you to know that if you spot out most of your answers to be 'yes' then the probability that the relationship is legitimate is very high. So the higher the yes you have, the greater the possibility of legitimacy right?

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