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Written by: Raymond Fohjem

The other side of married life

The other side of married life

Last month, I decided to carry out a research on the nature and existence of married life after which I came out with two results; the negative and positive sides of married life.

During the process of my research, I managed to talk to eleven couples and seven non-married people. They included students, civil servants and self-employed. I interrogated them on issues such as; ’What are some of the benefits of becoming a spouse?’ and ’What were some of the difficulties you experienced in marriage/married life?’

I posed these questions to each individual in order to get personal opinions. I was impressed because I got unique lessons from them on the subject matter. While some of them replied back with tons of detestations about marriage, some were in harmony of it. After all, it was their experiences and so, I considered every commend.

Since the purpose of this article focuses on the other side of married life, I’m not going to be talking on the issues raised against this topic, but I’m going to concentrate on the difficulties that heat married people and their homes, right? But if you want to see the advantages of marriage, see 6 reasons why married life is good.

The other side of married life

  • married life limits social activities: I wouldn’t want to mention names but they’re certain activities that we enjoyed when in our circles of freedom or single hood. But this is the reverse when married. Eugene was one of the married couples I happened to met. He admitted that he and his friends usually go clubbing during weekends, honor whatsoever invitation to any party. But now, being married, he finds it difficult engaging in what he once enjoyed. I know some married people still survive under this circumstance, but to certain extend, it limits their freedoms in other social activities once enjoyed in the past.
  • married life creates new habits and form of friendships: Pauline admitted that, when she got married, it was difficult keeping up the relationships with old friends. She said that “I had to quit a dozen friends since we no longer share common interest. For example, some of the things they talk about were just what I no longer find interesting. I can’t change who they are, so I quite them.” Even her habits changed. “I began dressing not as a spinster, but as a spouse should.” According to her next statement, she was compelled. “I feel hurt turning down people we’ve been together since day one. I find it difficult switching almost everything in my life. I even had to develop new habits of dressing, behavior, associating with new people I know little or nothing about them etc.” That was her dark side of married life.
  • married life versus the family needs: Another dark side of married life came from Lazarus who’s been married for eight years. He said that before getting married, he had to rent and furnished an apartment which cost him some months of noninvestment and saving. He also said that after some years, one of the problems that confronted him was financial difficulties and daily management of the family. Based on the various points he raised, it was cleared that, raising a family is no joke as he had to cater for the family needs such as the children’s educational needs, family needs and himself. Another couple even confirmed that “catering for the children, our various bills, and other maintenances caused a dropped in our savings.”
  • married life isn’t our style: Isabelle expressed her own side of married life based on experiences gotten from others, “I’m afraid to start running from clinics to clinics. I don’t wish to deform my shape or start looking after the kids. I know I would bear children but at least, not for now.” Luis on the other hand expressed his based on the financial part of it, “I don’t just want to become a breadwinner. I don’t have that time to start spending indoors and more so, I’m just from graduating and still searching for a better job, not a better marriage.”

Ultimate say on the other side of married life

As seen from the experiences and views of many married and unmarried people, it’s certain that while married life may appear to be a source of happiness, it also has its other side which many people consciously avoid when going into married life.

The purpose of this article isn’t to discourage marriage in any form or manner but to act as some kind of reflection of marriage before experiencing it. At least, when one is ready for something and it comes, he/she wouldn’t take it as a surprise nor a shock, right? So see this article as a mirror. But in case you may want to see the other side of this article, then jump to this article; “6 reasons why married life is good”.

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