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Written by: Raymond Fohjem

Reasons for falling in love

Reasons for falling in love with someone

Many people believe that the falling in love process is random that just happens. Iím not against what they believe because, I had once been in their shoes many years before I began studying the psychology of falling in love.

When I became actively involved in personal development, I came to understood that love is nothing random but an organized process that each individual experiences differently from another based on many factors and reasons. Before writing this article, I know many people wonít see with me through same lens but thatís just how the falling in love process works.

This comes down as to why we some times find someone being too attractive while is the reverse to others, even the closest people as our friends donít see what weíre seeing in this person. The question now is; why would someone appear attractive only to certain people but the reverse to others? The difference between these two factions is the reason for falling either in or out of love but donít look too far because this is what Iím going to be talking in this article.

In two of my previous articles, ďWhat attracts people to each other?Ē and ďWhy do we fall in love?Ē, I gave some of the reasons and where I stopped, Iím going to continue from there. But the slight difference is that Iím going to go deeper than in those articles.

These are the reasons for falling in love

Below are some of the reasons why we tend to fall in love with certain people and not just everyone we happen to come across and these the same reasons why we fall in love and some times, out of love;

  • Physical features: While searching for a life partner, people consider various factors before drawing conclusions. Some people tend to consider other criteria while some place much weight on physical attraction ahead of the list. This therefore means that such people will definitely fall in love with someone if he/she appears to match their sight acceptance, right? So, sight attraction is one of the reasons for falling in love with someone.
  • Social acceptance: Another reason for falling in love with someone is social acceptance or social approval. For instance, you might not like a certain celebrity/star naturally but as you keep associating with their fans, you start questioning yourself and before you know, youíre his fan and the same process happens to love. You might never cared about the guy next door but when other people start talking and praising him, you later tend to find him interesting as well, right? And thatís how the falling in love process works. Research also proofs that the attraction of a person increases when others start scrambling after them.
  • The proximity gap: The proximity gap we share with others tend to define our love map. Have you noticed that when you come too close to your friendís girlfriend/boyfriend you also tend to feel at ease with them? And this is the same reason why you may share cordial relationship with your neighbors than strangers. This is how our minds are being programed before the falling in love process comes into play.
  • Matching unmet needs: Unmet needs are what we unconsciously expect from our potential partners. For example, a girl who was brought up with love for fame or wealth will most likely fall for someone possessing this than if the same guy possesses nothing of the sort. Same as a dark skinned guy whoís not satisfied with his complexion would likely prefer a girl of opposite complexion than if she possesses same skin.
  • Resembles someone you like: I hope you've noticed that when you love a particular person, you also tend to love those resembling them. For example, if your dream was to marry a certain star and come across someone possessing what you love about the star, wouldnít you find him/her attractive? Or what if you love your mom/dad so much and met someone as them, wouldnít you love the person as well? Thatís how the people we love draft our reason for falling in love.

Final say on the reasons for falling in love

As stated above, there are many reasons influencing characters and decisions and the same reasons make us dislike/like someone while another person with his own mind set has different perspectives about same person.

According to another personís mind set, the same reasons might make him/her dislike you while another person loves you because of his own mind set and thatís how we fall in love.

Recommended books

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