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Written by: Raymond Fohjem

What other people think of you

How not to care about what people say

Don't waste your time worrying about what people will say. You'll only end up flushing out the bulk of your time with no good to show in return. While you're busy thinking of what other people think of you, they're also busy worrying about what you think of them.

The truth is that in rare cases would people spent their entire lives worrying about others. Most people are preoccupied with their own lives, their responsibilities and unmet projects.

Although you may tend to find some people wallowing about you and your activities, yet that isn't something to bother in the least way. Rather than worrying about what people think of you, instead ask yourself what you think about yourself. Worry about your plans for the future. Worry about what you'll be like after two, four, five years from now.

What will people think of me?

In the battle of controlling what other people think of me, I gave up that years ago as a complete hopeless course when my first business crashed. I got stuck financially. I lost connections with famous business men. I went complete bankruptcy with nothing to show in return. I sold almost every property to clear debts and yet nothing to show for. I had disappointed many friends, family members and business colleagues - at least, financially.

Most of what I heard weren't supportive in the least way. Many people were aiming critical comments behind my absence but that meant completely nothing and one more added made no difference to me. My mind was constant and unshakeable.

They are people who must always talk when the going is good and those who must when the going is rough. That part is certain. Whatever you do or don’t do others must have a say and they're entitled to their thoughts. So, should you really spend the bulk of your time worrying about crappy thoughts of other people if you do or don't do? That's insane! That time could be used developing other meaningful areas of your life.

Each successful article I write, I normally get feedbacks from people. Even before writing this article, I assume they're people who will still judge me for writing on such topic. It isn't a surprise again. When I was very much successful in my first business people never stopped saying what they wish. When I lost my money and assets, did it end it all? No way! A new set of packs still popped up with their own mindsets. Neither of the coin seems to be favorable.

Should you neglect people's opinions?

In certain cases it's important to consider the thoughts of others but you'll see that this works best if you're commercializing a product or acquiring feedbacks to improve a service. But in personal matters, such as planning to setup a new business or getting into a new relationship or fearing of getting booed on stage and you start worrying about the foreshadowing of people's thinking is really a death end to be at. Even when you think they're right yet they're still wrong.

Although some people maybe right but this only happens in the short run in most instances. In the long run, you'll tend to see that they were still death wrong after all.

There are many instances where people have warned me not to try or do something because I can't do it or no one ever succeeded. But i went ahead and do it and messed up just exactly as they predicted. But yet, this isn't something to fear or avoid. If I'd not gone out and failed flat on my own, I'd never have learned the necessary skills and techniques needed to get me going the next time. As humans beings, we learn best when errors are committed - especially the ones we personally committed. This part is never ok. So allow yourself to be human.

Even when people suggest alternatives, ideas or patterns for us to follow, in most instances, they're talking from a fear based mindset. Very few people will be ready to face fact squarely and let you know the truth without considering how you feel or how you'll feel later. Research found it that about 70% of personal suggestions are fostered by inner feelings. This means that people tend to feel for others not based on their victim's circumstances but based on how they themselves rate it.

In personal interested, people's thinking about me never goes beyond 1% consideration. In pursuing a real pattern for growth or setting meaning goals, one of the best ways that has always worked well for me is this: trust your plans, then create workable process for its attainment. When you trust yourself and your plans, you really don't need to know how other people think to get you going.

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