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Written by: Raymond Fohjem

Lies telling as a means of solution

Lies telling as a means of solution

During my teenage years, I usually hide under the covers of lies telling in order to set myself free or to achieve some level of relief. I became used to it to the degree that I lied for almost everything. It wasn’t easy for my parents and relatives to stand for me in certain situations since they also doubted almost word that comes from my mouth except what concerns my education. This is because I was an intelligent guy who usually came first in class with many instances of presents. In fact, I got a scholarship to study in the high school. At least, my parents trusted me in this area.

Most of the lies that usually confronted me came from the domain of relationship issues with my few dozen girlfriends. I was totally aware that these girls were impressed only by the beautiful of your apartment, fame, car, or that you’re generous. But I was none of these, talk less of possessing them.

So, in order to secure my relationships, I had to possess what they wanted but in the form of lies telling. For example, whenever I confronted a girl, my conversation never went fluently without omitting some degree of lies telling. Some times I claimed to be a worker in company X when I was just a school boy (they never liked students), I usually boast money wasn’t one of my worries, and the worst of it was when I started telling them that I owned a well furnished apartment. All these were just imaginary thoughts I created and make it real by telling them things which never existed anywhere.

I later discovered that most of the lies I told were just what they wanted to hear and nothing else. In some instances during a date, I might crack a joke by saying something like ”I don’t have that kind of money to…” or ”I’m just a student.” I noticed these were some of the things they wouldn’t want to take or hear from a guy like myself. Their replies were usually “you’ve been spending, don’t you?” or something like “you don’t resemble a student.” How does a student look like? I always wondered. From a logical point of view, the lying habit quickly developed since most the girls I tried to tackle were indirectly encouraging me; they wanted just the lying part of me.

The downside of lies telling as a means of solution

Usually at the beginning of the relationships, I always obtain some level of achievement when they see through my own lens. But in the long run, all the deed committed in the past started hunting me. It wasn’t easy making up to the false promises I levied against myself and so, everyday was a small size hell each time I saw them or when they rang my phone. After some years without complying with the nice promises (money, car, apartment etc.), they began insisting to get to know me better by coming to my apartment (a place which existed only in my imagination).

This issue was sufficient enough to tear me apart as they began saying what they thought and not what I told them. For instance, some were of the opinion that I’m married and shading them from my home, others concluded that I had no apartment while, the third group was confused. With lack of enough cash to spend as before, coupled with pressure to see my apartment, things became tough. At least, in the past I usually condor them with all sorts of gifts and presents but now, all that didn’t work. They didn’t need any gift or money. All they wanted was to come to their guy’s apartment if not for anything, just to cook or glance and leave.

I break the habit of lies telling

In order to set things straight and put my mind at rest, I started making plans to rent an apartment. At least, this will ease many things on my path but my parents couldn’t permit this new freedom. That was my only plan and it has been altered.

From then, I decided I’d not escape the problems I created to myself but to face them squarely. This therefore gave me the go ahead. I confront each of them face-to-face. I told them what they never knew about me. I told them about my background, I told them I’m only in the university and have never worked, I told them my only source of income happens to be my pocket allowances. I put many things straight.

It’s true I lost the majority of them probably because I’ll not be telling lies again, but from the right perspective, that was the cost I had to pay and I wasn’t against paying that price in exchange for my consciousness. At least, this gave me some of sense of relief. From there, I had the courage to break some of the relationships, avoid those that proved difficult, barred some of their numbers and even stopped using certain roads I might see them. I just needed a means to avoid them.

Lies telling aren’t a means of solution

Lies telling have never been a source of solution. In fact what’s solved by lies never last before the truth prevails. Because of lie, many people have been missing great opportunities. Because of lies telling, some lost their jobs, degraded, lost their love ones, even lost the opportunity of travelling.

A friend of mine wanted to travel abroad and so obtained documents with fake entries. When the documents were ready, he went to the embassy only to be refused visa because such fake entries were detected. If he had admitted in the beginning that he doesn’t qualify, he would have saved himself all the embarrassments, running from one office to the other, and saving himself unnecessary costs.

Many people use lies as alibis to cover for their weaknesses, something they ought to face squarely. Although at some point, they might achieve their primary aims, but in the long, it will be better to face them squarely rather than allowing them to accumulate. This kind of risk soon forms a habit. Mr. Lazarus of the Lie Detective Center in South Africa openly pointed that “The lies people were doing themselves were only a reflection of themselves in future.” and he was correct. No matter how small you lie, its consequences continuously accumulating until it’s released, else, it continues doubling for the price to be paid later.

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