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Written by: Raymond Fohjem

How to stop pleasing people

How to stop trying to please everyone

When I talk about how to stop pleasing people, I am not talking about ignoring others or discarding their opinions. No. Far from that! It cannot be that way because I also know that in order to make life comfortable, we must try to please certain people in our lives, without which human beings will become your major enemy in life.

What am actually referring here is the process where some people tend to please almost everyone they come across. I am talking about people who never thought how to say ‘no’ in their lives. I hope you have noticed that most people who tend to please almost everyone turn to live under people’s spells.

What is wrong about pleasing people?

Like I said before, pleasing certain people comes with some degree of satisfaction but at the same time, do you know that bad consequences about this are just too much?

  • Casting spell on you: When you start pleasing people, to certain extent, they will discover your weak point and in return, you will be manipulated by their spells. Each time they need something done or need your support, they just go ahead because they are totally conscious you will please them. When you continue living under this spell, you will have no time for your own desires and happiness.
  • It destroys your self-esteem: Have you noticed that when someone starts pleasing people, he becomes totally unconscious of his own ability and strength? This is so because as he tries to please everyone, in return his self-esteem becomes very weak since he now depends on others for his strength.
  • Your happiness becomes dependent: This is because; you have made up your mind to please people in order to be happy. This makes your happiness lies on some kind of basis because if someone gets upset with you, it affects your happiness.

How to stop pleasing people

Stop pleasing people is not that difficult. It’s not something which can’t be learnt or thought. By following the below steps, you will get over the habit of pleasing people:

  • You will not please everyone: One of the strongest reasons why you should not try to please everyone is because you will not be able to make everyone feel comfortable. Even if you do your best it will only turn to bring more problems on you. Even the most famous people and great rulers around the world still have people who don’t like them not because they are great or something else, but because they were unable to please them.
  • Think before complying: If you are confusing whether to please someone or not, think before doing and this is nothing more than making comparison. Think whether the thing you want to do will be at your own disadvantage, else, you must not do it, right?
  • Place your happiness first: One of the reasons people become slaves to others is when they try to please people before thinking of their happiness. This therefore implies that before you please someone, you have to first think of yourself.


Finally, in order to stop pleasing people, you must learn to say no when necessary. Is not every person’s wish that you must grant, ok? When you start developing the courage to say no, before you know, you will be able to say no to everyone and stand a better chance of gaining control over yourself.

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