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Written by: Raymond Fohjem

How to overcome the habit of shame

How to overcome shame

Do you know that because of shame, many people have lost great chances in life? Its true that because of the fear of shame or rejection, we have once missed certain things that we wanted. But above all, the most obvious question should be;

Why should a person feel one bit of shame?
Why should someone feel shame among his fellow mates?
Where does this shame come from?
Do we really have to feel ashame when we make an error?

I know these kind of questions must surely be pumping by now in your head, but at the same time, you have nothing to bother because these are some of the issues which I am going to be tackling in this article today.

But before I do that, I will first let you know where shame comes from and why are we affected by it.

What does shame signifies?

Do you have to feel shame? The answer to this question is a big no. Shame is nothing more than some kind of trigger which reminds us of what we have done. Its just a massage sent by our subconscious mind telling us that along the line, we have omitted something.

This therefore means that, if you feel shame, then you are wrong. You are not wrong in noticing that but what I mean here is that, somewhere there is an error.

So in this case, all you need to do is to look where you went wrong along the line and correct it for the next time. As soon as you spot out that, start working on it.

Using self-esteem to overcome the habit of shame

In order to over the habit of shame, you have to work on your self-esteem. This is because, when you are suffering from low self-esteem, you have the tendency of losing trust in your own self. Because of this, whenever you make a slight mistake, you over consider it more than how other people may see it due to the lack of self-esteem.

The first thing to do will be to spot out all of your weaknesses and when you have done that, the next will be to tackle them one after the other. For example, if you noticed that in most cases, you feel shame when you make mistake in your grammar, then working on your vocabulary will certainly make you overcome the habit, right? And the same process happens in other fields of life like feeling rejected, self-image problem etc.

All you need to do is to work on them. Work on whatever you feel is causing you this shame. When you have done that, shame will no longer be a problem even if you make a hideous mistake or received criticism from others, it wont make you feel one bit of it.

Using strategy to overcome the habit of shame

Another way to overcome shame is by just avoiding it in the first place. If youre among friends or colleagues and a discussion arises which will soon make you feel some degree of shame, just try to redirect the topic to something else. That is the method I usually did way back in my primary school days.

By then I never knew how to deal with shame but at the same time, I knew how to avoid it and I usually did just that. This way, it worked out pretty well for me.

In situations where I could not escape the issue at hand, when it bombs, I just join them and laugh together with them. With this strategy, they never knew if that was my weak point or not since we were all laughing together and you can still use this approach to get over the habit of shame, right?

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