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Written by: Raymond Fohjem

How to overcome the habit of gossiping

Overcoming gossiping habit

Do you know that unlike hatred, gossip is also another kind of habit? This therefore means that if hatred can be controlled, then the habit of gossiping can also be under total control as well. One psychologist once said ‘we are the drivers of our habit’ and he was correct.

In his phrase, he simply means that we are the ones who develop and control our habit. In other words, it means that if you can create a habit, then, you can certainly create the pattern of the habit and this is nothing more than being in absolutely control over the habit.

Why do people gossip?

In one of my articles, 'Why do people gossip?', I said that in most cases, people gossip in order to satisfy their unattainable desires. I explained how due to lack of self-esteem, the ability to be accepted by others, anger coupled with the act of jealousy make people perceive others from a different perspectives which then lead them in making false conclusions in the form of gossiping.

For example, in the article, I explained how Boris went about gossiping about Elvis when Elvis defeated him in a fight. Boris regretted the fact that Elvis won him in the fight and the only way he could revenge was to start gossiping about Elvis in order to retaliate what Elvis did.

How to overcome the habit of gossiping

In order to best understand this article, you have to first of all know some of the reasons that could cause someone to gossip (See 'Why do people gossip?'). The first reason I gave in the article was the issue of acceptance. I said that at times people gossip about others in order to be accepted.

So, if you find yourself in this shoe, the first step to take is to understand that gossip cannot be used to start or use it to build trust. For the fact that you can be accepted at that moment doesn’t necessarily guarantee tomorrow. He may someday realize the nature of what you said and the reverse will be the worse.

In this case, how do you think he will turn to you? One Philosopher once said ‘Gossip is just like a stone which you through and it comes back to you.’

Anger and lack of self-confidence

In that same article, I said that anger and the lack of self-confidence cause people to gossip about their victims.

So, in order to overcome the habit of gossiping, you have to work on your inner-self and this is nothing more than controlling your anger while on the other hand, improving on your self-confidence. If you develop your self-confidence, you won’t be tempted in any form to retaliate back by gossip and that’s just how you overcome the habit of gossiping.

Transform this gossip into good desires

I also talked about the act of jealousy. I said that one of the major factors behind the act of gossiping is jealousy. In this case, being jealous is not the solution. In most of my couching seasons, I also tell my students that jealousy is an indirect motivation to develop the skills to attain your desires. People who have self-esteem do not jealous others. They instead transform this habit into a sign of their desires.

For example, if they felt jealous of someone or something, they tend to show this in their actions; they work hard to achieve theirs rather than wasting time talking behind others and that’s what I usually do. Each time I admire something from a person, the desire for it pushes me to obtain mine and I try to do just that all the time and that’s just how you overcome the habit of gossiping.

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