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Written by: Raymond Fohjem

How to fall in love with someone

How can I fall in love with someone?

I decided to give tips on "how to fall in love with someone" because of the comments I get from this issue. The last mail I got was from a female reader. She told me she has been living with a guy next door for some time now and the guy has been showering her with lot of love, concern and gifts while on the other hand, she believes the guy doesn’t match her type. But something within keeps telling her to love him anyway.

After I went through her mail, I noticed her biggest problem wasn’t that she didn’t love the guy but how she could develop true love for him. In her mail, she mentioned that "I really don't know what love is, I don't know how to feel love for someone." She also admitted that the boy is handsome and has been so nice to her but her problem was how to show him love in return.

Her experience is no different from what we have sometimes experienced; if not directly, in other forms. At one point in our lives we have come across a situation where we really wanted to show at least a bit of love or concern to someone who deserves it but due to some hindering factors, we tend to be amiss in the eyes of them. This is what I’ll be talking in this article; I will tell you some of the ways by which you can develop love/concern for someone even if they’re not up to your criteria, right?

How love can be programmed

Many websites claim to tackle this issue while they end up giving tips on other matters. Some of them have no backing and the others; traditional advice. You can find them all over the internet but as a psychologist, I recommend using psychological methods since psychology explains the connection between the human relationships, their behaviors, their interactions, defines what love is and how it's developed.

Love is an emotional feeling developed for someone. Since we have total access and control over our emotions, it equally means that we can also have access and control over love. This therefore means that you can manipulate your love (just like any other emotion) in order to match someone’s. Falling in love with someone is nothing more than considering the person to match your criteria (see why do we fall in love for more details).

For example, if among your love criteria you put much emphasis on resourcefulness and you discover that your catch is not up to the task, then reducing much weight on this criterion for a partner/match/soul mate will definitely result in developing love for them since what hinders this love was resourcefulness and it has been eliminated or reduced. I believe there’re many ways in which one can develop love for someone even if it was someone who use to ignore or put us down.

How to fall in love with someone

The following methods are backed by relationship psychology and human behavioral science. They’re going to act as some kind of emotional support in falling in love with someone.

  • Show your love openly: Making your love open is nothing more than convincing your subconscious mind to believe you love them. There's a way of doing this because you can't just tell yourself that 'I love him/her’ and expect your subconscious mind to believe just like that. No! That’s not how it works. Yes, it’s true that telling yourself that “I love them” can be used as a start but research proved that when a person starts convincing people of an idea, he also tends to start believing it. This means that if you can tell the person face-to-face that 'I love you' or by using other words, your subconscious mind will believe that you actually love them. That’s how the falling in love process works.
  • Visualize your love about them: In one of my articles, ‘How to forget someone you love’, I said that if you managed to stop visualizing and thinking about your lover, you’ll soon forget about them. But when try to develop love for someone, you do but the reverse. If you managed to start visualizing and thinking about them; dining together, doing things together, making fun, how life will be with them, then, within the shortest possible time, you’ll completely fall in love with them. It sounds somehow but that’s how it works.
  • Motivating him/her to be a perfect march: In my book 'How to make someone fall in love with you', I explained why we don't fall in love with anyone but with certain people who appear to march our love criteria. This means that, you can only fall in love with someone when he/she marches your love map. If you love them and they don’t match your love criteria, then you have to motivate some aspects of your life style in order for them to match.
  • Stay by his sight: Based on psychology, when we start starring at someone for an extended period of time, we tend to find the person interesting compared to the first meeting. The same thing happens when we start over looking someone. To put this short, you have to create time to always be with them if really you want to show your love. Always have time to talk with them or just by watching them from a distance, right?

Final word on how to fall in love with someone

As you see from the above steps, falling in love with someone is neither difficult nor something that has to do with luck or chance. It’s just about, knowing who you are, knowing what to do, what you want, following the right path, and arriving to your goal. Isn’t that simple? Go and try it.

Recommended books

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The book 'How to make someone fall in love with you' is without doubt the only book online that tackles the subject of falling in love. It's certainly going to double your chances of making him/her fall in love with you without doing much. The book is based on friendship psychology and the psychology of falling in love, yet simplified enough to be understood by just anyone. See details...

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