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Written by: Raymond Fohjem

Falling in love to compensate

Love and compensation

Sometimes, we fall in love not necessarily because we need to be loved but due to the fact that we have unmet needs.

This is one fact which many people tend to disagree. I guess this is because they really don't know how the falling in love process works neither do they know how it looks like.

Research shows that people fall in love in order to compensate for their unmet needs coupled with their criteria qualification (see Does unconditional love exist?).

In my book How to make someone fall in love with you, I explained how love compensation happens to be one of the reasons why people fall in love and it can be used to make someone fall in love with you in few days.

Examples of falling in love to compensate

Below are some of the instances that someone might fall in love just to compensate.

  • Lack of insecurity of the future: This one factor is sufficient as to why some people fall in love even without aware of this fact. For example, a girl who is uncertain about her future marital statue might hurry to get involve in a relationship even without knowing what's pushing her in order to secure her chances in future.
  • Financial constrains: This fact is very common as many of you know it better. If you want to know the effectiveness of money, take money away from this world and see if you'll be able to count the number of relationship that are going to experience down time. This is because, they're certain group of people who aren't impressed of your personality but what you possess. These packs would never find you interesting if you don't possess this criterion.
  • Sex and compensating: let's say a guy got married and became actively involved in sexually pleasures and his wife starts withdrawing, he might jump to another relationship in order to compensate for what he couldn't get enough of it.
  • Internal weaknesses and falling in love: In one of my articles Why do we find some people attractive?, I said that we tend to find others attractive when they possess what we're lacking. That's why if you lacked self-confidence, you'll likely find someone possessing it attractive. Same thing happens if you're a blonde and doesn't appreciate your hair color, you'll hardly find someone appealing if he's a blonde.
  • The quest to meet up: There's a proverb that "Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are" and that's true. Let's a guy grew up with friends who usually dated university girls. To certain extent he'd be also attracted to any girl if she's in university. Sometimes he might not even care about his true feelings for her highly due to the fact that he's just trying to behave as his friends.

How to fall in love based on true love

Falling in love based on genuine love isn't something difficult nor something totally impossible. Before considering someone as a potential partner, try to spot out the main reasons for falling in love.

Is it because of his popularity? Is it because of your financial difficulties? Are you trying to make comparison? Are you influenced by a third party?

If non of the above describes you, then you're in love not because of any other thing but because he/she deserved your love.

Recommended books

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The book 'How to make someone fall in love with you' is without doubt the only book online that tackles the subject of falling in love. It's certainly going to double your chances of making him/her fall in love with you without doing much. The book is based on friendship psychology and the psychology of falling in love, yet simplified enough to be understood by just anyone. See details...

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