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Written by: Raymond Fohjem

Does unconditional love exist?

Difference between conditional and unconditional

Last week I managed to ask some few ladies and some gentle men what they believe was unconditional love. At the beginning, I was somehow impressed with some of the points they raised about the topic but to certain extent, their definitions were out of track and most of them end up defining true meaning of conditional love.

Unconditional love is genuine love. Unconditional love is that situation whereby you love someone regardless of what he possesses but based on who he is as a human being. A good example of this is that; if you love someone not because of his car, wealth, assets, popularity, therefore your love is unconditional. But do people fall in love this way? Does unconditional love exist in our world today?

Most of the times people tend to define their love as unconditional whereas is the reverse. To me, they dont really carry the blames since most of them are just ignorant of it.

Most of the times, people fall in love with others based on physical and emotional needs and unconscious of this, they tend to attribute it to true love.

Unconditional love and conditional love

A girl who is suffering from law self-confidence might find someone possessing solid self-confidence attractive and although she might be unaware of this fact, deep down shes in love, right? Is this the definition of unconditional love? What if there was this other guy who has all the qualities as the first guy but lacks confidence, would she still have fallen for him that much?

A good definition of this is the human growth process. A child who was usually turned down by other girls might live up with the false impression as a failure to girls, right? When the child grows up, hell likely to fall in love with the first girl (in order to achieve some reliefs), right? At this moment, hell do everything to keep up with this relationship (not to look like a failure). But from a psychological point of view, this isnt unconditional love because hes indirectly compensating for his unmet needs suffered in the past.

All my life, Ive never managed to find anyone possessing love unconditionally for someone. Most of the ones I spotted, I ended up being disappointed. Im usually moved at the beginning but later on, Ill discover that, it was based on a certain factor.

Does unconditional love exist?

Psychologists believe that theres no such thing as unconditional love. Some people have managed to resist this argument but most of their theories and examples were based on the love existing between a mother and her child and vice versa and then attribute it to unconditional love.

These people only managed to raise the topic but never tried to nail it hard. For example, they say that a mother loves her child and does everything to ensure his survival while on the other hand, the child sees and develop love unconditionally for his mother.

Based on a psychological point, the mother loves her child because she brought fort the child and owes him the responsibility for his success while the child loves the mother because he needs the mother to breastfeed, take care and provide him warmth.

All this boils down to the fact that if you have no emotional needs or unmet needs, youll certainly not fall in love and if you fall in love, you have unmet needs, and unconsciously trying to solve it is conditional not unconditional love.

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